DESTRUCTO FAQ
1. What is Destructo?
A king's game. Seriously, you have to play it.
1.1 I implore you to be more specific.
Alright; it's a game for two or more players. The equipment required is, simply, a piece of paper and a writing implement, which makes it useful for layovers or waits at restaurants.
1.2 Where can I buy it?
If you've got paper and a pen, you already have. Go forth! Don't give your hard-earned bread to the man.
2. How does one play Destructo?
The first player draws something on the piece of paper. Anything -- literally anything -- will do. The next player draws something which, in some fashion, is destroying the first object. Repeat indefinitely.
2.1 Define "destroying."
This is a good question! In a general sense, it means what you think it'd mean -- defeating, exploding, killing, etc. -- but it can sure as hell mean a lot more than that. See sections 3.1 - 3.4 for more clarification.
2.2 In which direction is the paper passed?
Generally clockwise, as in most games of this nature, but as Destructo is a great game to play during other games (I cite from personal experience both Magic: The Gathering drafts and Zendo), you may find it more interesting to pass counter-clockwise, against the circulation of the other game, to discourage bottlenecking.
2.3 How does one win?
Destructo is not a game with a victor. Much like Eat Poop You Cat, One Thousand Blank Cards, or Exquisite Corpse, Destructo is an exercise in creativity. We hate to say it, but being able to counter a hilarious entry with something even better is its own reward.
2.3.1 Wait, that's what my mom used to say about doing the dishes.
And she was lying. We're sorry.
2.4 What happens if someone draws something indestructible?
This is literally impossible. If you declare your response unbeatable before you pass it on, be prepared to be put squarely in your place. This is not a game which has any sort of grounding in "the laws of physics" or "causality."
2.4.1 Give me an example! I'm not thinking fourth-dimensionally!
Alright -- the most common "unbeatable" entry is a black hole. What happens if a black hole meets an anti-black hole? Or gets distracted by a cute lady black hole walking down the street? Or gets bottled by The Collector? What if he finds a "Dear John" letter from his wife, and breaks down, and can't continue this sham of an existance anymore, being a point in space which simply devours and devours and devours, and gives up his line of work to go into accounting? Yeah, exactly.
2.5 Can you destroy something other than that which has last been drawn?
No. You can refer to something which has been drawn before, but generally only as a running gag. The main excitement of Destructo is the immediate response to the most recent object, whereas the resultant sheet of paper with the jumble of crap on it is merely a happy side effect.
2.5.1 But what if it's reeeeally funny?
Well, venture forth at your own discretion. Usually, the accepted way to do this is to just re-draw the previous object and introduce it into your own response yourself. There's nothing wrong with a call-back or a reference to a previous joke! The problem arises when somebody four seats away gets a great idea for a response that isn't theirs, and then, upon their own turn, ignores the object presented to them. This kills the flow of the game.
2.6 What if I'm supposed to destroy a cultural movement? Or a concept? Or an emotion? I can't shoot those things with a lazer!
Start warming up your creativity engine. Scrutinize every element of the object you need to destroy; look for an angle other people might not think of. Start tossing random objects around in your brain. If something you consider makes you chuckle, you've probably got something worth using. Good luck.
2.7 What if someone in a large group (e.g.: around a table at a diner) doesn't want to play?
Destructo can be intimidating, and often, people will bashfully decline play, citing a lack of ideas. Never trust these people.
3. Are there strategies for playing Destructo?
As a general rule, no. Since any response is fair game, the only "bad" move you can make is a lame one. There are, on the other hand, methodologies which different people employ while playing Destructo, such that two different people with different response-styles might not be able to agree on what constitutes a "good" play. Summarily, I have given them cute names and put them into list form.
3.1 The Juggernaut
Any valid play is one in which the previous entry is damaged or injured. This is how the game was originally explained to me, and while I have not played like this in a long time, I accept that it is a valid form of play.
Example: Turn 1: A grandmother is destroyed by a mouse with a tiny chainsaw.
3.2 The Strategist
Any valid play is one in which the previous entry is countered. Rather than simply being "destroyed," it is also valid for the previous entry to be tricked, made useless, distracted, boxed up and mailed somewhere, frozen in ice, grounded, or any number of states which would cause it to cease being useful for the purpose to which it was originally assigned.
Example: Turn 2: A mouse with a tiny chainsaw is countered by a state-wide chainsaw ban.
3.3 The Serializer
Combines either the playing style of The Juggernaut or The Strategist with the belief that a good play is one which engenders or implies a narrative or thematic link between the previous entry and the current play. Multiple players of this nature tend to end up with a game of Destructo which can be followed from beginning to end by tracing its spurious chain of cause-and-effect. Often, this method of play involves cross-referencing earlier plays; see 2.5.1 for an example of how to employ this method of play in a fair and judicious manner.
Example: Turn 3: A rider is attached to the state-wide chainsaw ban which dissolves the entire state, making a chainsaw ban impossible.
Further Example: Turn 4: All states are dissolved in favor of a centralized government, which then reinstates the chainsaw ban.
3.3 The Dadaist
Combines either the playing style of The Juggernaut or The Strategist with the belief that a good play is one which comes entirely out of left field, surprising everyone. Occasionally, a player of this nature will have to defend their move; needless to say, playing in a Dadaist style involves knowing the crowd you're with.
Example: Turn 5: A magical dancing clock with a top hat reverses time by 5,000,000 years; the government has been destroyed by not having been invented.